the most perfect dinner date

THE EVENING IN LIST FORM: friday night // date night // craved steak // dressed up // seasons 52 // no tables // bar seats // ordered wine // ate flatbread // topped off // sipped bisque // filet mignon // shrimp grits // feed me // fed him // all gone // cleaned plates // so delish // yes dessert // tiny shots // pecan pie // best time // his treat // full bellies // not stuffed // just right // head home

THE EVENING IN PARAGRAPH FORM: Friday night, after a really really stressful work week, Tom and I decided to go out to dinner. I enjoyed so much that we decided to dress up and look nice for each other - he put on a button down collared shirt and gelled his hair, I wore my new denim Calvin Klein dress I picked up at Lord & Taylor because the deals, people, the deals!

We walked in to discover they had no tables available, but we could sit at the bar right away. That’s what we did, ordered a bottle of Malbec (our favorite) and looked over the menu. We ended up ordering pesto chicken flatbread and lobster bisque to share. He decided on shrimp and grits, and because I had been CRAVING STEAK all day, I ordered the 6oz filet mignon. I tell you, it was the most perfect amount of food and drink - and every single thing was delicious! The lobster bisque was even the perfect temperature: nice and hot! My steak dinner was EXACTLY what I wanted — perfectly cooked, seasoned, and came with mash potatoes and green beans. OH MY FRIGGIN GOODNESS. We’ve been to this restaurant before, and knew we wanted to end the dinner with a pecan pie shot glass each for dessert. All of it was just wonderful.

THE EVENING IN FEELINGS: When you’ve had a stressful work week and you get to spend the evening before the weekend arrives with your favorite person in the world, that’s magical in and of itself. But then when you both dress up and look nice for each other, tell each other how cute they are and how lucky you are that you get to be together, and then have the most relaxed and perfect meal — it feels like the world is spinning just for you. I don’t underestimate the power of a good date night.

I want to share, however, that in the midst of the magic and fun, I was struck by the fact that everything is temporary. A part of the core of who I am is a tad bit Buddhist and over the years, I’ve been learning to accept that everything changes, things are not permanent and everything is temporary.

So when I have a night like this, I try to remember it hard. I put it in a blog post. I’ll print the photos and stick them in an album. I wonder if a week from this evening - the next Friday to come - will Tom still be here? Will I? Will I think back to a week prior and remember when life was just right and I could touch him and hug him and share wine and laughs with him? You never see it coming & then BOOM there is it.

Evenings like this bring all that up for me. Because I can’t NOT acknowledge that loss is a part of life, and while we have what we love, we need to cherish it, adore it, and give thanks for it. One day we’ll be gone. I’m crying just typing it, not being able to imagine a world without us and the love we share. I’ve put us here in pixels and computer code… because what else can I do? I’ll hug him pretty tight tonight, and I’ll rub my cheek back and forth on his beard. So what’s my point? I guess it’s that sometimes dinners are not just dinners.