my SELENA planner spread & thoughts on LOSS

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Yesterday marked 25 years since the death of Selena, and 25 years later, the singer continues to inspire fans and influence pop culture. She would have been such a badass 49 year-old this year! To commemorate, I wanted to share the spread I created in my Passion Planner for this week using stickers by AMXO.

Now, it was totally predictable that I was going to LOVE creating with these stickers. However, what I hadn’t predicted was once yesterday came, was how emotional I would feel thinking about LOSS. I had actually planned for this post to go up yesterday, but a lot of feelings got in the way of what I wanted to say…

I thought about Selena and the impact she would have made - even greater than her current legacy - if she hadn’t been killed. What an UNNECESSARY LOSS she was! So tragic, so sad.

I thought about what life is now.: the LOSS of plans and access to people and places, sure, but also the actual LOSS OF LIFE in staggering numbers! // My boyfriend Tom is currently on an assignment to set up tents to cover the trailers that have been pulled up to hospitals so that the excess bodies can be stored there, piled on top of one another, because nobody is allowed to have funerals and morgues are not in operation. It’s all lots to process. So much change in such a short amount of time.

…and something else that got me all emotional and weird too (as if the contents of the previous paragraph weren’t enough) was this feeling of the LOSS of the adventurous beginning of us. // This whole past week, I’ve been writing down the stories of our first days together (PART 1, PART 2, and PART 3) and there’s this weird ambiguous sadness over the loss of the honeymoon phase. We’re great and coming up on a year and he’s the one, but yesterday and with all the reminiscing, I started to miss how innocent and new we were a year ago.

It’s just what I felt. It was a multi-layered thing as you can see, and it’s all okay. // Allison from The Allison Show wrote a great post on loss saying, “Loss is loss. Comparing loss IS NOT helpful. To its varying degrees, loss in all forms is real and valid.” I happen to agree with that.

So the title of this post made sense, yeah? This was a post to share the before-the-pen using AMXO’s Selena stickers, but it was also to express the multi-layered emotions surrounding LOSS I felt so hard yesterday. I’m better today, I guess. It’s April, and hopefully that means something.