MY 3 MONTH HEALTH JOURNAL // MONTH 1

OFF TO THE RACES

MAY 26, 2020 | 196.4 LBS - It is the Tuesday after Memorial Day. Tom and I spent a wonderful long weekend at his family’s Hampton’s house and today it’s back to the grind. It’s back to the grind in more ways than one: I’m going on week 10 of remote teaching, Tom’s back to work at the office full time, and SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE when it comes to my health. I AM THE HEAVIEST I’VE EVER BEEN, and I’ve been saying that since this podcast episode when I referenced my body as my home and said I wanted to focus on taking care of it.

That was FIVE MONTHS AGO! What am I waiting for? Granted, we’ve had a major lifestyle upheaval dealing with a worldwide pandemic, but I’ve been starting and restarting trying to get my health-ducks in order, but I wonder what will ACTUALLY help me make the difference? …what will actually STICK other than these pounds?

I’m going to try this BACKEND JOURNAL APPROACH. It worked for the PICTURE HOME challenge in May - where I uploaded a daily photo that matched the prompt with the promise of a culminating blog post to be published at the conclusion of it. The in-progress daily recording was occurring behind the scenes and the blast end result of it to be revealed all at once was a MAJOR MOTIVATOR. That’s what I’m starting today, and let’s see where I am at in 92 days - three months from now - AUG 26, 2020. Amanda, JUST START.

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SOME BASIC RULES

MAY 27, 2020 - Yesterday, NOTHING was going to take me off of this course I established for myself and - because of that mentality - it was a great first day out of the gate. I made sure to write down everything I ate, I took my set of ‘before’ photos, and established some basic rules for myself:

Don’t tell too many people about this (blog, boyfriend, sister…that’s it).
KNOW my why for doing this, and let that guide my choices.
Write down what I eat.
Only drink alcohol on Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
GET. TO. THE. GYM.

…and speaking of GETTING TO THE GYM, I did yesterday for the first time in over two months since we’ve been sheltered in place. Yesterday marked PHASE 1 and with it came the reopening of my local gym Fit Body Bootcamp. Although we were not allowed inside its doors, 10 people at a time can register for their outdoor “Military Run” workout and guess who was first in line (to sign up). I was actually LAST in line once we started jogging…mama’s out of SHAPE!

I did the workout (it was really hard, even though it was literally - to the second, start to finish - a half hour long) and signed up for the 6am (!!!) workout today, tomorrow, and Friday too. I’m NOT EFFING JOKING.

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YOU CAN’T “LOVE YOURSELF” THIN

MAY 28, 2020 - To keep myself as motivated as I can, I ordered a couple of books. The first one I’m diving into is Never Binge Again by Dr. Glenn Livingston and today I read about his theory on not being able to use the tactic of “loving yourself” thin.

He calls the part of your mind that shouts at you to binge eat “The Pig” (which is a hot-button word for some of us, but he throughly explains his reasons for this phrase in his book). “The Pig” is your unhealthy-thinking alter-ego, and he calls for you to IDENTIFY IT and CAGE IT. In his experience, says Livingston, the act of recovering from bingeing, serious overeating, and/or simply learning to stick to a food plan is NOT like nurturing a wounded animal back to health. It’s more like capturing and caging an aggressive Doberman Pincher. This dog must respect and obey you—or it will have its way every time!

His theory - in essence then - states that if you use a soft, loving approach to combat your unhealthy-thinking alter-ego, it will overtake you. You have to be the strict parent, the stern authority…you have to be…the PACK LEADER (a la Cesar Milan). It’s an interesting perspective and one that reminds me a lot of my OCD treatment...

In my therapy for OCD, my doctor called the part of myself that is my true being “The Gatekeeper" - the one that makes choices for my life and sticks to the preplanned agenda. The false alarm mis-signals of anxiety given off by my brain should be treated as irrelevant in order to habitualize my brain to the anxiety spikes, thus decreasing my desperate compulsion response to them. This is also what I’m interpreting Dr. Livingston (I presume? tee hee) is saying: STICK TO YOUR AGENDA no matter what your unhealthy-thinking alter-ego is going to squeal. BE THE GATEKEEPER. Make the choice to treat the signal as irrelevant, and it will inevitably become so, thus decreasing your knee jerk compulsion to binge.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT. (Pun intended.)

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I WILL BE PERFECT ON THIS HEALTH JOURNEY.

MAY 29, 2020 - I read such a great, mind-blowing concept in the Never Binge Again book by Dr. Glenn Livingston today. It makes SO MUCH SENSE, but feels so contradictory to how we - as women - have been trying to retrain ourselves.

You all know the phrase PROGRESS OVER PERFECTION. We use it as a way to give ourselves grace and continue towards a goal we want to achieve, even when the road to that goal takes unexpected turns and gets littered with fails. That’s good. I like that. I’m on board with that. But…

…THAT CAN’T BE YOUR MENTALITY WHEN YOU MAKE A COMMITMENT. Perfection is the essence of commitment. Dr. Livingston makes the point that when you allow ANY possibility that you will ever binge again to change the commitment from “I will” to “I try” then you are resolving to having NO commitment at all. WOW. Mind blown. You must authoritatively declare your food plan as 100% perfect or you are not committing to anything at all.

It is ONLY when perfectionism is applied as a post-binge analysis tool that it works against you, and in the interest of your unhealthy-thinking self that wants to abandon all hope that you could ever stick to a plan.

So, if you DO happen to binge, your response should be simple: acknowledge at this point ONLY that you are a fallible human being, but don’t allow this acknowledgement to fuel your unhealthy-thinking self down a rabbit hole of negative self talk and spiraling binge eating. Instead, calmly admit that you are on this journey of practicing a set of food rules, but that practice now over. Analyze what went wrong, adjust your food plan if necessary, and THEN (yet again) declare it PERFECT and FINAL because you are re-committing to it. Perfection is the essence of commitment, so you will NEVER binge again! In summary…

USE ‘PROGRESS OVER PERFECTION’ ONLY AFTER A BINGE.
OTHERWISE, STRICTLY PERFECTION.

Therefore, I will be perfect on this health journey. This is a commitment I’m making to myself, for myself. Sorry, unhealthy-thinking self. You simply have no power here.

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MY MAGIC WEIGHT NUMBER

JUNE 1, 2020 - What is a MAGIC WEIGHT NUMBER? Your magic weight number (MWN) is the number on the scale that is…

a realistic amount for your size, shape, and density
is achievable, sustainable, and undramatic
MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD (a.k.a. lighter, happier, and more energized)

This number is completely and wholly your own, not what some calculator says you should be for your height and weight and BMI and blah blah blah, That has always been off for me. I have really really heavy, dense bones and strong, muscular legs. I am going to have a higher magic weight number than someone who’s also 5’8” and more slenderly structured.

That being said, this time around, my MWN is 175 pounds. It used to be lower, but I’ve noticed, as I age, my MWN slightly increases because number 2 on the list becomes harder. It is harder to achieve and sustain a MWN lower than 175 at 35 years of age. I have found that reaching for the 160s starts to become majorly DRAMATIC in the form of too much dietary restriction, fatigue, and the ever-so dramatic stomach rumbles. So, I don’t reach there.

I will be happy and healthy at 175 pounds, so that’s where I’m goaling to go. I know I’ll feel good in my clothes, be able to scale stairs, and not get out of breath on walks. BOOM, baby! Let’s go!

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Weigh Yourself Everyday

JUNE 7, 2020 | 193.4 LBS (-3.6) - WAIT A MINUTE! Actually, no. WEIGHT A DAY. Yep, you heard me right: take your weight each and everyday. The scale is your new best friend. Hey, buddy.

This is literally 100% the opposite of the “losing weight advice” I received growing up. “Don’t be a slave to the scale” they’d say. Or “it shouldn’t be about the number, it should be about how you feel.”

Aside from the overall philosophy (which reminds me of my OCD therapy) it was Chapter 16 in Never Binge Again entitled “Your New Best Friend” that gave me the biggest AHA moment from the book. In a nutshell it said:

step on the scale every morning
faithfully take the feedback it provides
interpret the data objectively
adjust your food plan and exercise accordingly

The metaphor in the book talks about commercial airplanes and how they’re actually off course 99% of the time they fly from New York to Los Angeles. …and how the only way one reaches its destination is because the pilots consistently monitor their instruments and make small adjustments throughout the flight.

Do I need to point out the connection here? Okay, I will…

It’s a lot easier to make dozens, or even hundreds of tiny course corrections all along your journey, says the book, than to ignore feedback and find yourself thousands of miles from where you’d hoped to land later on. OMG! YES!

YES! YES! YES! (I could cry!)

I was avoiding the scale, worrying that seeing a number I wasn’t expecting was going to devastate me out of continuing on this health journey… BUT, if you weigh yourself every morning, your weigh-in becomes a repeated routine to gather data, instead of this HUGE, monumental moment of truth.

You deflate the ballon, let out some pressure, and perceive stepping on the scale as nothing more than something you can check off your list every morning and use the data from. I LOVE THIS NOTION.

So, me and my scale? New besties! Make friends with yours too. // (I use the FITINDEX Bluetooth Body Fat Scale, and downloaded the app that goes with it.)

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these morning workouts tho

JUNE 15, 2020 - I have been waking up early every morning and walking to my gym’s 6am outdoor workout. It has been the absolute best for many reasons:

I’m my best self in the morning, so I have the right attitude and energy for the workout
I walk a mile just by showing up (it’s .5 miles away from my apartment)
At 6am, the class is not crowded, the streets are not congested
I get it all done before Tom wakes up, so it doesn’t impede on my time with him
If I do nothing else all day, I know I’ve done that
It makes me feel productive & accomplished all before 7am
It’s not too hot at 6am
It still leaves me enough time to get home, shower, and prep the virtual classroom for the day

If teaching remotely has been good for one thing, it’s been for allowing me the space to work these early morning workouts into my schedule.

Two more work weeks, then SUMMER! Being home and off for the next two months, I plan to continue my Monday to Friday early morning workouts.

…and if Tom and I happen to take a neighborhood stroll or go to the park for a run, then it’ll count as extra, because mama already did her time when everybody was sleeping. It’s glorious, and I love it.

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the fastest way to lose weight is slowly

JUNE 26, 2020 | 189.6 LBS (-7.2) - ONE MONTH and 7 POUNDS DOWN! Not bad. Not bad at all.

Since starting this health journal/ney one month ago, I have read the Never Binge Again book by Dr. Glenn Livingston all the way through, and plowed through his multiple spin-off books. The one about his own personal health journey, the one about how to bust binge triggers, and the one that dissects successful food rules.

Going into month two, I’m working on his Never Binge Again Workbook, and finishing the last spin-off book: How to End Nighttime Overeating. YOU GOT ME, Glenn: I’m a convert!

Dr. Livingston’s philosophy found me at the EXACT right time, and IT. IS. WORKING.

In every one of his books, this phrase finds its way onto the page: THE FASTEST WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT IS SLOWLY. “…because if you drop pounds too quickly your body will fight back. It will eventually insist you hoard calories and nutrition the moment it sees they are once again abundantly available, which, in our society, is always just around the corner.” — source

Slow and steady. Seven pounds down might not sound like a lot, but I definitely feel better. I’m stronger, not as sluggish, and my run-pace has improved compared to what it was in May during my miles.

In my 20s - when I used to diet (ewww…that word tho) - it wasn’t rare for me to lose 7 pounds in the first week! Of course, I couldn’t sustain that level of weight loss and keep up the deprivation that got me there, so I was back to binging soon after. I was never able to stick to any regimen or commitment for longer than a month.

…but it’s because I wasn’t embarking on my health journey with the right philosophy. The fastest way to lose weight is slowly with 100% commitment, regular check-ins, tweaks if need be, and consistency.

I plan to keep that mentality up as I enter month two. I’ll be able to include more regular entries in next month’s post since today is my LAST DAY OF TEACHING for this kooky 2019-2020 school year (wooo hooo), and I’ll have the time and space to spend writing them.

MONTH 1 DOWN. Slow & steady is doing it. Excited for next month’s post. Thanks for reading.